Ngondro begins

So yesterday I started prostrations. I had done a little math, and figured that if I did close to 2000 a week, I'd be done in a year. I figured I could spend half my practice time doing the prostrations, and the rest reflecting on other things Rinpoche gave me to mull over. No biggie huh?

Well, I didn't take into account a learning curve.  Not that I expected much of one with altering my practice time for a physical activity as well as sitting activities.  The learning curve I failed to account for was that of my  oblique muscles,  triceps,  delts, and even my traps and sternocleidomastoid. No, I didn't make that up.
I only did 30 today before I decided to give it a rest before I hurt something. That means I won't be hitting 100 a day until my muscles learn to respond to this. So maybe every other day or so, for a few weeks. 

One thing I thought was interesting occurred during my interview with Rinpoche. I asked if there was anything I needed to know, basically, how do we start this practice? He surprised me by asking if I was a Buddhist. I was stunned for a second, because I took refuge with him. Had he forgotten? So I said "No. I'm not a Buddhist. I am a Buddha."  He smiled a big smile and we got on with it from there.

I've stated this point  before in a previous point, and it was reinforced to me when Rinpoche asked that question. It isn't necessarily enough to think of yourself as a Buddhist. one can be a Buddhist philosophically, but not actually. You need to see yourself as  you really are:  you are a Buddha. 

In future posts I'll share some of my insights on the Refuge Prayer and Generation of Bodhichitta. Until then,

Tashi Deleg! 

Perfect Buddhas

You're on. No, I mean, that's your cue, you're on. Yes, you, you're the Perfect Buddha, go on! Get out there....

Thogme wrote the following words as an introduction to his 37 Practices of a Bodhisattva. Thogme lived long after Shakyamuni did, so what does he mean by pluralizing the word Buddha? Well, in case you haven't guessed, repeat after me: Without me, there is no Buddha.

"The perfect Buddhas, source of benefit and happiness, arise from accomplishing the genuine dharma...."

If you are a human being, you are as much a Buddha as Lord Shakyamuni is. Simply put. Not because of anything you have or have not done, but by what is actually inside you. The idea of Buddhism isn't to mold or shape what's inside you into something new. The idea is to uncover what is already there. All of the mental fabrications of ego, and what reality is need to be stripped away. You are already a Perfect Buddha. Everyone is. The other notion to dispel is becoming Shayamuni. You are a unique blend of the 5 wisdoms, the elements, and karmic reflection. You are unlike anyone else. So you become in this perfecting process the Buddha that you are. That's what Buddhist individuality is, as differing from individuality, which is the structure of the ego, and, as it turns out, is what stands in the way of your individuality. So, how to get from where we are to being Perfect Buddha.

Ha! You know me too well! That's right, practice, practice, practice. Buddhas arise from accomplishing genuine dharma. Which points to several things. One, dharma isn't something you believe. If you aren't doing it, you aren't getting it. Genuine dharma is a set of practices, and a whole lot of mistakes along the way.There will be moral downfalls, there will be corrections, and just in the beginning, as you learn to focus and after what seems like less than a second, your mind is off and running. Well, that happens for a long time. Don't be discouraged. Hammering on yourself is an expression of the ego. When you sit down to practice, body like mountain (stretch first!), breath like a breeze (soft and unforced), and mind like sky. Ah, that last part. Sometimes it feels like 30 MPOH winds and clouds, and other times like a storm. But you know what? The presence of the clouds and turbulence does not alter the nature of the sky, and if you fly high enough, you'll break through the storms into open sky. Clouds can exist in the upper atmosphere, but not storms very often. The sky is always the sky. So let the clouds pass through. Be aware of them, and that's all.

"Arise" and "accomplishing" are not past tense verbs. Thogme was at least writing about his own time, and without knowing a lick of Tibetan, I am willing to bet these are future tense as well. Which is of course the point of Buddhism. The basic idea that we are all the same, born with the same innate Buddha nature, is at the core of equanimity, one of the four aspects of bodhichitta. So even today, perfect Buddhas are arising, because they are accomplishing the dharma.

And whsat is it we accomplish? Genuine Dharma. There are a couple of points here that need to be made. First, there are plenty of phony baloneys peddling fake dharma. The sexual tantra of the west is a good example of a split off that has gained traction in a small community. They focus on something out of context, and then of course what you end up with isn't enlightenment, but rather a strengthened ego and delusion. Which is why lineage is presented the way it is in Buddhism. So if I were to start teaching, I would present myself as just another link in the chain of Kilung Rinpoche, who had Dilgo Khyntse as a teacher, and Dilgo had Khenpo Thugba, and the historical linkage affirms the teachings back to their origination with Padmasambhava. Fake teachers can't, sometimes won't, present a verifiable lineage. 

You might say to me though that a real teacher is hard to find.  Ah yes, I agree. It took me several years before I found a living teacher to investigate. I started the basics with Pema Chodron's books, and moved a tad slowly from there. A meditation center in town provided some teachers, as the center was non-sectarian and sought various lineage and branch teachers. It did however start pointing me in a direction. And you don't need one at your finger tips. My first teacher I have only seen a handful of times. However, it is worth the effort to perhaps travel out of your way a bit to see one. 

So what else do I want to say about genuine dharma? That your path is your path. You don't need to practice what I practice. Nor how I practice. When I took refuge with Kilung Rinpoche of the Longchen Nyingtik, I brought him my practice manual, and page by page showed him what my daily practice was composed of, which was entirely self manufactured I assure you. He assured me it was good, and as I progressed as a student, he simply added things he thought I was ready for relative to our lineage's practices. I am free to practice all sorts of things as long as I am empowered to do so. And some things require a living empowerment, some don't. So you'll gain much benefit from reciting the Refuge Prayer. And the Bodhichitta Vow. The Four Immeasurables. The Four Thoughts That Turn The Mind To Dharma. The 37 Practices Of A Bodhisattva. Kathleen Turner's book, How To Meditate, has a wealth of material to draw on. Honestly though, I was surprised she had material on Inner Heat in it. That is usually an advanced practice, because not doing it right, or at the right time, can be more harmful than beneficial. Be that as it may, there is a lot of great material in the book from which one can gain much wisdom.


All that to say that Thogme's next sentence says: "that in turn depends on knowing how to practice." If you don't have a living teacher, start requesting one. And be patient you Buddha you. Yes, yes, I'm talking to you.


Repeat after me: Without me, no Buddha.

Analyze This! - Part 2 of Life Sentence

Rather obvious isn't it? The story goes that the photog was at the San Quentin concert, and asked Johnny if he had a message for the Warden. This picture is the answer.

So what does that have to do with analyzing ourselves? Well, it doesn't take a degree is my point. Sometimes it's as simple as the picture, though maybe not so aggressive.

Remember that in part 1 I brought up the notion of giving ourselves to a life sentence of doing this analyzing. Now let's look at what some of that exercise of analyzing might look like.

It all starts during meditation. We learn to see the clouds of thoughts that enter the sky of our mind. Then what? Well, like clouds we let them come and go. But we become aware of them. Or, we learn to be aware of them. Let's consider some words from Patrul Rinpoche's Verses On the 5 Poisons Self Liberated, and some words from the Le'u Dun Ma prayer of Padmasambhava.

So what if you're like me? What if you return to focusing on your breathing after a thought has taken you across the universe several times, or, if like following links on web sites, you wonder just how in the hell did I get here?! That's called fabricating by some. Or there may be something you want, and you start contriving how to get it. Ah, back to the breath.... There's also inviting and chasing after thoughts. These are all activities described in the Le'u Dun Ma. The portion I want to emphasize says this: "Whatever thoughts and emotions of the five poisons arise, don't invite them, don't chase after them, don't let mind fabricate or contrive: simply allowing them to settle in the face of their own arising is the very liberation into the Dharmakaya." The idea here is to learn to gently, gently, bring your focus back to your breath. Yes, you are aware of these things. So let's add a little bit here. Patrul Rinpoche gives some particular advice for each poison.

For anger, Rinpoche tells us to not chase after the object we are angry at. Instead, look at the angry mind. All these poisons are self arising, and therefore self liberated. Beside that, they have a Buddha wisdom expression. Anger is clarity emptiness by nature, which is mirror like wisdom. So okay, on the cushion that's one thing. But later in the day, you snap. Then what? Stop right there. Take one breath and focus on it, and look at the anger, and realize it's mirror like wisdom. Yes, it's a learning moment. Here Rinpoche says recite the six syllable mantra: Om Mani Padme Hung. Just about anything you read about anger will tell you that it destroys a lot of virtue that isn't dedicated. Which is why we learn to tame our minds with an army of loving kindness and compassion.

So let me run down the poisons and their Buddha expressions:

   Anger - Don't chase after - clarity emptiness = mirror-like wisdom
   Pride - Don't cling to - original emptiness = wisdom of equality
   Desire - Don't became attached - bliss emptiness = discriminating wisdom
   Jealousy - Don't obsess - intellect emptiness = all-accomplishing wisdom
   Stupidity - Don't be mistaken about - awareness emptiness - dhamadhatu wisdom

So when these crop up, look at them, recite the mantra, and recall the instructions and beneficial aspect. That's what is meant by analyzing your delusion. As you do it more and more, you'll discover more subtle levels, and as you can see, these are practices that don't require much training, other than what practice you give yourself.

So imagine that you are Johnny Cash, and your delusion is the warden. Analyze this!

Further notes on Life Sentence

"Alas, now as the intermediate state of living arise before me, renouncing laziness, for which there is no time in this life, I must enter the undistracted path of study, reflection, and meditation. Taking perceptual experience and the nature of the mind as the path, I must cultivate actualization of the three Buddha bodies. Having obtaine this precious human body this one time, I do not have the luxury of remaining on a distracted path."

So said Padmasabhava when he wrote what we westerners commonly refer to as the Tibetan Book Of The Dead. It's real title is The Great Liberation Upon Hearing. My point here is what Guru Rinpoche calls laziness, and why it's important to practice. It refers to my last post, as to why we might consider a life sentence for ourselves. Here again we see reference to our precious human birth, which in all of existence, is indeed rare. The laziness that Rinpoche refers to though isn't what us westerners refer to. We think of the couch potatoe that doesn't do the dishes, or laundry, or vacuum. Rinpoche is referring to the person as well that get's up early, and reads the paper before heading into the office for a 10 hour day, and then stops at the gym, gets dinner, comes home and spends a little time with spouse and or kids, throws in a Rotary meeting in the week, and then coaches on the weekends between doing house chores. That's also a lazy person because they are frittering away their human existence, and take no time for their own mind. Damned repsonsible, but still lazy when it comes to the one important thing.

Will that mom or dad take their spouse with them when they die? How about the money and things they have accumulated. The "stuff" George Carlin referred to. Trophies? Friends? Even the body so well cared for at the gym? The children or pets?

At death one is alone. And yet how do we prepare for that moment?

Tashi Deleg!

Life Sentence

Can you handle this? Tom Delay is facing one for money laundering. Ouch! Can you appoint yourself to a life sentence of watching your own mind? I hope so....

"Therefore, to continuously examine..." So says Thogme in verse31 of his 37 Verses On The Practice Of A Bodhisattva. Sounds like a lot of work doesn't it. Daunting even. So let's compare it to something else, like playing the drums.

So you sit down at the drum set, and there are 5 different drums, one played by the right foot, and a myriad of cymbals possibly, one of which is actually played by the left foot and right hand simultaneously. It's not as pretzelish as it sounds. In fact, once you practice enou.... What? Oh. Practice, yes, I said that. Of course you have to practice. A lot if you want to be good. And the drum is easy. I could give you a French Horn and it might take decades to get good, let alone very good. Continuously. All the time, constantly, and you guessed it, just like sitting meditation it takes time to get to that place where you are doing it constantly, and then it isn't so difficult at all.

Tsonkhapa gives us a similar instruction in the Short Meditation On The Graduated Path Of Enlightenment: "Pleas grant me blessings to realize that this body with freedom is found only once, and to understand it's great meaning and rarity, and to both day and night to cultivate unceasingly the mind that takes hold of it's essence."

That's fairly clear isn't it? Getting to that unceasingly place takes a little practice, no? I included the whole verse for a reason. It provides the motivation for cultivating this experience of constant examining. According to Dilgo Khyentse, human form is quite rare in the cosmos. Something along the lines of comparing a teaspoon (human form) of sand to the grains in the Ganges River, which still is less than beings in the universe. So because we have this rarity, we should make the most of it.

I also want to point out something else. This isn't the place to become a thought Nazi. Thogme states in another verse that they way to tame the mind, to combat the anger within, is with an army of loving kindness and compassion. Cool picture huh? I can't say for certain anything about this army. My hunch is it that the many buddhas, bodhisattvas, deities, and sugatas of the past and present are part of it. In our daily practice we can ask for their help in taming our mind, and come to that place of constant awareness.

It begins slowly, just like mastering different beats on the drum. The snare on the 2 and 4 beat, the foot pedal on the 1 and 3. At different tempos. Then we change the foot bass to the "and" of the 3 beat. So it's one and two and three and four and.... Just a half hold, and then we change the tempos, change the beat to other "ands" and I hope you get the picture. Every time you start a new beat, it almost requires going back to slow speed to get the feel for it. It's the same way with taming the mind, developing that constant awareness of our state of mind.

I hope these words are a benefit. This is part one of three I think. Next will be what we need to be looking at more specifically.

Tashi Deleg!

I have returned!

Took some time off there didn't I? Sort how life goes I suspect. Anyway, I'm back to writing, and I'm working on a piece from the 37 Practices Of A Bodhisattva. My Facebook had a post that the Dalai Lama was going to teach about this, from the teaching by Thogme. That happens to be the one I will use, but from a far more "beginners" approach, I'm sure. I've had these 37 verses in my daily practice for quite some time, never knowing who this Thogme cat was. After I took refuge with Kilung Rinpoche, I started reading the authors of the Longchen Nyingthig lineage, one of whom is Dilgon Khyentse Rinpoche, who wrote The Heart Of Compassion, which by golly is about the 37 Practices by, guess who, Thogme! So I got to learn who Thogme was, and a bit of commentary from a lineage teacher. So, you can also read that book. For those of you who want to part with $200, Shambhala has a slip covered edition of the collected works of Dilgo Khyentse. I know, thats shamelss advertising for which I get nothing, but his teachings are easy to understand, at least the one's I've read. So I'm just passing along the word.

More later, and be well!

The Perfection of Discipline

Ugh. Discipline? Really? I wonder how many unpleasant notions that word brings up. However, yes, it is a necessary ingredient of our path to enlightenment. So let's look at this perfection, and see if along the way we might dispel some of those unpleasant notions.

A monk named Thogme composed the words I shall be using, which are from the 37 Practices of a Bodhisattva, which verses are also the ones used by Dilgo Khyentse in his book, Heart Of Compassion. The verse in particular that I will be looking at is as follows:

If lack of discipline prevents you from benefiting yourself,
than your wish to benefit others is just a joke.
Therefore, to guard discipline
with no longing for worldly existence
is the practice of a Bodhisattva. (v. 26)

Ah yes, the lack of discipline. Have we ever heard or stated ourselves that we lack the discipline to read more, write more, eat better, exercise more, play an instrument more? I know I have. Around that we might feel a bit of shame. There's the rub. Then we jump in with both feet and for a brief while feel good, until the things we are ignoring to attend to the emotional squeaky wheel are now screaming, and we drop them. Methinks that really the problem isn't discipline, it's priorities at this level. Which will become apparent as we breathe through the feelings of shame.

So let's make that step one. I myself can get too busy. Lately I was involved with a play, and it collided with the times of a retreat that I would rather have been involved in. So I have made the decision to end my volunteer acting career, such as it was, with a Shakespeare. Then I will have pared down my hobby priorities to writing and playing my drums. My living priorities are my family and my practice. Attending to those relationships and my meditation practice require as much discipline as anything else. Plans even. 

Now, let's get selfish. Hehehe. You'll see how it's so not selfish soon enough. But the point of the first phrase is this: if you aren't walking it, you will be sounding like a cracked bell when you talk it. Everyone knows the voice of an expert when they hear one. Not schooled expertise, but hands on expertise. People who have experience because they "do it." They practiced. So to be a benefit to others, you need to be a benefit to yourself. And that means you will get to be an expert on what Pema Chodron calls the "klesha" of yourself. The messy stuff. The shit. Which means that you need to spend the time, the discipline, to get to know your own mind. Otherwise,

"your wish to benefit others is just a joke."

And not a very funny one at that. In fact, the joke will be on you, and at the worst possible time. And who of us really want to be in that position?

So the instruction says we need to guard discipline with no longing for worldly existence. Whoa. Sometimes I feel like I haven't got any to guard. Ther4e's issues of what goes in the mouth as well as what comes out, what we do or don't with our bodies, and then the mind. So how do we get there? The first step we already covered; it's by determining our priorities. The second step is in re-directing already existing discipline into those priorities. Yes, you read that correctly. We already have the discipline to do things, we are simply expending that energy into other activities than what we know we really need to be attending to.

So when I engage in a play, I know that it will impact other areas of life. Notably, the time I spend working out. That is an example of re-directed discipline. I rehearse, and memorize lines and go to rehearsals, rather than work out. It's all about priorities. It also affects time that I might be home with my beloved. That in itself takes discipline, in making time to be with one another, when my weekend isn't hers. And for short whiles, maybe that's okay. Yet, maybe not.

The discipline is there for the most part. We need to direct it to beneficial activities, like reflection, studying, and meditation. And then guard it, because the distractions will come. If you build it, they will come. Oh yes, they will. We need to guard it with no longing for worldly existence. Wha?

Consider what you cannot avoid: death. Can you take your possessions with you? So why spend the energy? Can you take relatives? Spouses, partners, businesses, children, pets, anything?

No.

The only thing that follows you into the bardo after your body dies is your karma. It isn't that we necessarily cut off our relatives and relationships. There is plenty of opportunity there to develop good karma, and relationships are wonderful teachers. But they will never do the work for us, and can distract us from benefiting ourselves so that we can in turn be actually beneficial for those in whom we are in relationships with. Knowing that the next breath may be your last will help you re-direct your priorities and energies, I assure you. So think about it until you know it. It might not take that long is my guess.

So discipline really isn't that unpleasant is it? It's actually something we likely already have, just maybe not spent in the most beneficial way. It will allow us to master things that make us beneficial to ourselves and others. Which means we won't be burning out. It is indeed the practice of something that we really are, if we indeed want to see all sentient beings liberated from samsara:

a Bodhisattva.

Tonglen

As I have entered into a new relationship with a teacher, I felt I should come up to speed on things. He was too apparently, as I got a packet in the mail that details what he likes to see his students practicing, and when. Of course, that is all adjustable based on the students personal interviews with Rinpoche.

So I bought a few books, checked some out of the library, and was boning up on the basics. One of those basics was regarding tonglen, which is a part of my Chenrezig accumulation given to my  by my Kagyu teacher. However, I was never taught anything about tonglen, I've just read a few things, and that was years ago. So I was encouraged to read Sogyal Rinpoche's instructions in The Tibetan Book Of Living and Dying. 

Indeed, it was very helpful. One of the aspects I liked about it was that it starts with the environment you are in. The other aspect that was helpful, and that I ran across in Surya Das's book, Awakening The Buddha Within, is that you don't start off with the population of the world. You start smaller. So here's how I translated that.

Since for me it is a part of a practice of compassion, I decided to narrow it down a little and give it some focus, as the practice instructions are rather broad and vague. Nothing beat's a statement like "all sentient beings!" And to help with my counting, I decided I'd go once around the mala, and then do some tonglen, dedicating the merit. First time around, I dedicate to the sangha and my teacher. Second time around, I dedicate to my bride and sons. Third time around, our extended family, particularly ones in our "news" if you will. Fourth time around is for the community I serve as a firefighter, which is roughly 66 square miles. That subdivides into my wife's work community and mine, as well as members of the fire district. The fifth time around is for me, dedicating the merit each time around. 

I've modified this somewhat. I am concerned with myself first because that's where the practice is for now. So in my mindfulness of the sufferings of the people I am breathing in and out for, I ask myself what I can do in my relationships with these people, how I can end their sufferings.  That's the first modification. The second modification is that every day I do my Chenrezig mantras. I have conveniently broken it down into 5 times around tha mala which gets me focused on myself and then concentric circles that ripple out from me as it were in ever enlarging circles. There happens to be 5 days in the week. So on Monday, I focus my thoughts on the members of the sangha, and our teacher. On Tuesday, I focus on my family. Wednesday is the extended family, Thursday is the community, and Friday is for me, my relationship to myself and wanting to see changes in my own life. Saturday and Sunday are fair game. Lately, I have given time to praying for those in Haiti.

Then in one of those texts I was reading, Dilgo Khentse's Heart Of Compassion, I read a little more about tonglen. I would encourage you to read it. It's in the section of the book that covers verses 10-14 of Thogme's 37 Practices. There Khyentse lays out steps to tonglen similar to Sogyal's steps. He then adds some differences, to be done "sometimes," in offering yourself in giving and taking for beings in the six realms, and other beings in other situations. Those I have added to my weekend "fair game."

This practice will defintely alter any one who does it. It challenges the dualistic conception of friend/enemy. That isn't very comfortable, but limited compassion is just religiosity, and not compassion at all. According to Buddha, we all share the same nature. And, all beings have at one point in time, been our mother. So regardless of their current postion in our friend/enemy paradigm, we need to see them as they really are, not as our mental conceptions have them.

Another experience I've had with this practice is a much broader understanding of reality. The experiences of karma that people endure, the being s of the six realms, how precious our human existence is, and how all these things are affected by the simple practice of meditation. To have heard the dharma, and practice it is, given the odds in this universe, is rather quite rare. Doing so, meaning practicing honestly, has a huge affect on the life of sentient beings. However...

in another of Dilgo Khyentse's books, Enlightened Courage, he encourages practitioners to not reach too far too fast in tonglen. That's why he says "sometimes" in  Heart Of Compassion.  It's very important to make sure your meditation practice is stable before moving on into higher experiences. I've been in the place where I wasn't quite stable. Man, it is a trip, and mine was uncomfortable and confusing. Of course, once I learned what was going on, I thought, well, I can handle that. Sort of like taking hallucinogenic drugs. I expected hallucinations. So when they happened, I could say, "oh, a hallucination. Cool." However, not all experiences are so cool. So stick with the stability thing. It'll make your practice all that more effective and beneficial. Start your tonglen with those closest to you. Stay there for a while. Then move out into a bigger ring. Include co-workers and friends. Stay there for a while. The add another ring, and so on. Buddhism isn't a sprint. It's similar to many other things: practice, patient practice, makes perfect.

And, it will make your tonglen practice stable as well. In the end, it is what we want. A stable meditation practice that opens our hearts like a lotus, so we can help others end their cycle of vicious suffering. And if you have a teacher, by all means consult with them. Your spiritual friend will be a huge benfit to your practice. Living words are definitely so much better than the ink or digital kind!

I respectfully submit these words for your consideration. May they benefit all.