As I have entered into a new relationship with a teacher, I felt I should come up to speed on things. He was too apparently, as I got a packet in the mail that details what he likes to see his students practicing, and when. Of course, that is all adjustable based on the students personal interviews with Rinpoche.
So I bought a few books, checked some out of the library, and was boning up on the basics. One of those basics was regarding tonglen, which is a part of my Chenrezig accumulation given to my by my Kagyu teacher. However, I was never taught anything about tonglen, I've just read a few things, and that was years ago. So I was encouraged to read Sogyal Rinpoche's instructions in The Tibetan Book Of Living and Dying.
Indeed, it was very helpful. One of the aspects I liked about it was that it starts with the environment you are in. The other aspect that was helpful, and that I ran across in Surya Das's book, Awakening The Buddha Within, is that you don't start off with the population of the world. You start smaller. So here's how I translated that.
Since for me it is a part of a practice of compassion, I decided to narrow it down a little and give it some focus, as the practice instructions are rather broad and vague. Nothing beat's a statement like "all sentient beings!" And to help with my counting, I decided I'd go once around the mala, and then do some tonglen, dedicating the merit. First time around, I dedicate to the sangha and my teacher. Second time around, I dedicate to my bride and sons. Third time around, our extended family, particularly ones in our "news" if you will. Fourth time around is for the community I serve as a firefighter, which is roughly 66 square miles. That subdivides into my wife's work community and mine, as well as members of the fire district. The fifth time around is for me, dedicating the merit each time around.
I've modified this somewhat. I am concerned with myself first because that's where the practice is for now. So in my mindfulness of the sufferings of the people I am breathing in and out for, I ask myself what I can do in my relationships with these people, how I can end their sufferings. That's the first modification. The second modification is that every day I do my Chenrezig mantras. I have conveniently broken it down into 5 times around tha mala which gets me focused on myself and then concentric circles that ripple out from me as it were in ever enlarging circles. There happens to be 5 days in the week. So on Monday, I focus my thoughts on the members of the sangha, and our teacher. On Tuesday, I focus on my family. Wednesday is the extended family, Thursday is the community, and Friday is for me, my relationship to myself and wanting to see changes in my own life. Saturday and Sunday are fair game. Lately, I have given time to praying for those in Haiti.
Then in one of those texts I was reading, Dilgo Khentse's Heart Of Compassion, I read a little more about tonglen. I would encourage you to read it. It's in the section of the book that covers verses 10-14 of Thogme's 37 Practices. There Khyentse lays out steps to tonglen similar to Sogyal's steps. He then adds some differences, to be done "sometimes," in offering yourself in giving and taking for beings in the six realms, and other beings in other situations. Those I have added to my weekend "fair game."
This practice will defintely alter any one who does it. It challenges the dualistic conception of friend/enemy. That isn't very comfortable, but limited compassion is just religiosity, and not compassion at all. According to Buddha, we all share the same nature. And, all beings have at one point in time, been our mother. So regardless of their current postion in our friend/enemy paradigm, we need to see them as they really are, not as our mental conceptions have them.
Another experience I've had with this practice is a much broader understanding of reality. The experiences of karma that people endure, the being s of the six realms, how precious our human existence is, and how all these things are affected by the simple practice of meditation. To have heard the dharma, and practice it is, given the odds in this universe, is rather quite rare. Doing so, meaning practicing honestly, has a huge affect on the life of sentient beings. However...
in another of Dilgo Khyentse's books, Enlightened Courage, he encourages practitioners to not reach too far too fast in tonglen. That's why he says "sometimes" in Heart Of Compassion. It's very important to make sure your meditation practice is stable before moving on into higher experiences. I've been in the place where I wasn't quite stable. Man, it is a trip, and mine was uncomfortable and confusing. Of course, once I learned what was going on, I thought, well, I can handle that. Sort of like taking hallucinogenic drugs. I expected hallucinations. So when they happened, I could say, "oh, a hallucination. Cool." However, not all experiences are so cool. So stick with the stability thing. It'll make your practice all that more effective and beneficial. Start your tonglen with those closest to you. Stay there for a while. Then move out into a bigger ring. Include co-workers and friends. Stay there for a while. The add another ring, and so on. Buddhism isn't a sprint. It's similar to many other things: practice, patient practice, makes perfect.
And, it will make your tonglen practice stable as well. In the end, it is what we want. A stable meditation practice that opens our hearts like a lotus, so we can help others end their cycle of vicious suffering. And if you have a teacher, by all means consult with them. Your spiritual friend will be a huge benfit to your practice. Living words are definitely so much better than the ink or digital kind!
I respectfully submit these words for your consideration. May they benefit all.
