I had my annual check-up recently with my teacher, Kilung Rinpoche. He was his usual gracious self, and listened as I laid out my few questions and explained where and how my practice was coming along. Part of what I walked away with was him re-iterating one thing to me, and another was a new addition to my practice. Technically, "Do more."

I share this with you because I have heard in whispered threads these same lessons, and something struck me this morning as I have been reflecting on it. What Rinpoche shared with me was to focus on the Four Thoughts That Turn the Mind to Dharma. I am at a place in my practice where I am doing the inner preliminaries of ngondro. And every day I speak these four thoughts out loud. Each of the thoughts has a page in our ngondro manual, which I repeat. Now it seems to me then that for Rinpoche to nudge me this way again means I am missing something, in my line of thinking anyway. In essence, I think he wants me to go deeper on these Four Thoughts. So this morning I cracked open Patrul Rinpoche's Words of My Perfect Teacher again to re-visit what had been said. Turns out it's a bit more than just a page or two on each thought. More like a chapter. It also nudges me to start reflecting on the very likely idea that maybe I am not allowing these Four Thoughts to really settle in my ground being, my true nature heart/mind. It's easy to let stuff rattle around intellectually. I know however, that isn't what Rinpoche wants. For me it's easy to get my dander up politically. I find though that when I do, I find all sorts of attachments. And those need to be challenged, especially if in the process I denigrate others. My speech needs the reality of bodhichitta, as well as my thoughts. Because even though I may disagree with a lot of what is happening, but I still need to respond from the Awakened Mind, not what I am attached to. Let me share these words from Patul Rinpoche:

"Whenever you do something positive, whether of major or minor importance, it is indispensable to enhance it with the three supreme methods. Before beginning, arouse the bodhichitta as a skillful means to make sure that the action becomes a source of good for the future. While carrying out the action, avoid getting involved in any conceptualization, so that merit cannot be destroyed by circumstances. At the end, seal the action properly by dedicating the merit, which will ensure that it continually grows ever greater."

Words of My Perfect Teacher, Part 1, chapter 1, pg. 8

So I encourage you to re-visit these Four Thoughts.

The other aspect I was encouraged to increase, ("Do more.") was the Vajrasattva practice. I have been doing 21 mantras a day as I am focused on doing prostrations and the Refuge/Bodhichitta generation. (Still a most wondrous visualization). I have been discovering through the Vajrasattva visualization practice that it is indeed quite powerful. And at the end, it becomes a benefit to others. In Words of My Perfect Teacher, Patrul Rinpoche mentions the Confession of Downfalls in the Vajrasattva practice. So I found a link that provided the Confession as well as Indian and Tibetan commentary. I have been thoroughly amazed at adding this addendum practice to my Vajrasattva practice. The Tibetan commentary lists the names of the 35 Buddhas and their cleansing attribute. Thirty five? Oh my partitioning mind! That means I can address 5 a day, and in a week bow to them all. I find that this sort of break down allows me to focus a bit more on individuals, and their aspect to me. "To the Bestower of Courage," who eliminates latent traces of anger. A good one when I think of today's polarized political environment. "To the One Who Understands Clearly, Enjoying the Radiant Light of Purity" eliminates the latent traces of the non-virtue of our speech. Need I say more? There are only 33 left....

The impact it has had on me is subtle and powerful. "Do more" I realize, meant more than just increasing the number of mantras. Learning more about practices is always thrilling to some extent, and humbling in others. Massive vistas of potentiality open up, but it's also apparent that a lot of obscurations are still needing attention. I also have  a new found appreciation for the vows I have made, the commitments,  and the depth to which my heart and mind can be opened. As I have focused more on the Vajrasattva visualization, I can actually do it anywhere. Seeing the couple in bliss, and the nectar flowing through them into me and driving out the impurities, and then from the seed in my heart/mind, the lights emanating out as offerings and prayers for all sentient beings can be generated in a second, and so I can do it as I drive or walk around downtown. And what I really like is that in all this focus on my downfalls, committed for endless aeons, and the purification process has no judgment in it. There are the Four Powers, like the Four Thoughts, and it is all summed up by, "Vajrasattva is pleased, and smiling says, 'O Child of Noble Family, your wrong doings, obscurations, and transgressions are all purified.'"

"They melt into radiant clarity."

Re-visit the Four Thoughts that turn the mind to dharma: Precious human birth, the suffering of samsara, impermanence, and karma. And let's heart connect with the Refuge and Vajrasattva visualizations. Kilung would emphasize that more than just repeating mantras. I would say that ngondro is less about achieving the numbers and more about the connection and opening of the heart and mind to the depths of not only my downfalls, committed over aeons, and also to the real nature of us all, the immeasurable love, compassion, joy and equanimity of the Awakened Mind.